What should I do?"
1. (Probably the most important thing on this list) JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN!
Depressed people have so many toxic thoughts in their mind. The best thing you can do is allow them to unload those thoughts. Let them speak. Don't interrupt them. Allow them to open up and be vulnerable. Don't rush to give your suggestion. They don't need it. They need someone who is willing to listen to them.
2. Be present for them
Just be! Be present. Right here and right now with them. Be present when they need to cry. Be present when they need to scream. Your presence is more than enough for them. Don't distract yourself with gadgets. Spend quality time with them. Hug them or hold their hands if that makes them more comfortable. Be a friend. Be a shoulder to cry on. Be a supporter. You can't even imagine how helpful it is to be with someone during the darkest times. It makes people feel less lonely and more hopeful.
3. Don't judge or analyze them
Unless you are a mental health expert or you have been experiencing depression yourself, it's probably better if you just keep your opinion to yourself. When depressed people reach out to you it means that they trust you enough for you to listen and be there for them. If they ask for your opinion and you think you know the correct answer, feel free to give your input on the situations. If not, just stay quiet and refer them to experts who probably know better what advice to give in this situation. Depressed people really really do not need more judgment in their lives, they already have plenty in their own minds. Don't belittle or deny their emotions or their experience. Don't "should or shouldn't" them. And don't make fun of their situations, it will make everything worse.
4. Check up on them every once in a while
Keep in touch. Ask them how they are. Invite them to brunch or something. Have fun together. Depression comes and goes unnoticed. Building a genuine friendship can help the process of getting out of depression much easier. Be genuine. People can sense fake energy, and it's gross. Texting or phone call is good as well. Just don't be annoying and super controlling. Worrying too much only worsen their situation. Respect their personal space. Be patient with them, because you might never understand what they're dealing with in their mind.
5. Express your love and appreciation toward them
When you notice a positive change in their mood or behavior, say it. It makes them feel good to know that people are noticing their progress in life. Speak kind words to them. Acknowledge their improvement. It's an amazing feeling to realize that people care about their mental well being.
6. Encourage them to help others
Helping others gives everyone a sense of purpose. When people have purpose, they become less likely to fall back into depression. Helping others make us happy and feel fulfilled in life. It can help fill up the void in our hearts that caused the depression in the first place.
Love and Blessings,
Affandi
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